special_psycho

So here's the update, I decided to stay an extra year at edinboro, and live with my friend. We have two cats(one for each of us) and she has a bunny. I went to the Crystal ball with my friend that I can't remember her lj name, sorry girl. That was a blast!!! Dancing was so much fun and the castle was beautiful. Then I finished my semester and revieve good to ok grades. It made me happy. Now it's christmas and I got this amazing digital camera, I'm in love with it. I've been taken pictures of everything. I'm so excited. I also got a very pretty Virgo t-shirt that says shy since that's what virgo are suppost to be. I don't beleive I'm very shy at all. Well that's all I'm writing for now, maybe I'll write again next year!!!!!!

Ok so ya I haven't writen anyting for a very very long time. It's mostly because I went home for the last week of the summer, then I came back up to school to find out that our cable and internet "expired". It did that because we only paid for the summer, and the summer ended after summer classes. It hasn't been so bad since I've been moving into my new apartment, which is next to my old apartment. Ok so that enough on the past....which was just last week, now the present.

This is my third day of school. I have to walk to campus everyday, which is really nice, unless it rains then it sucks. But usually it's the perfect way to think things threw. Like my life for one thing. I was thinking about my future and I'm definitly comeing back to school a year, hopefuly as soon as possible since if I take a break then I'll never go back. But I'm coming back for Pharmacy mostly for the money. If I get accepted to Finlay, which I will if it kills THEM!!! *what you thought I would kill me no way....I'm way to important for that! But it's only an aditional year, I have to find more about it!

From ariangi
From axelia

A) Four jobs I have had in my life :
1. Burger King (the nightmares oh the nightmares)
2. Cleaning lady at Edinboro University at scration and shaffer!
3. Special event chairman (the best job I had POWER!!!!!)
4. Phonathon
*these are the first jobs now there are more*

B) Four movies I would watch over and over :
1. Saved
2. The president daughter
3. The Chipmunk Adventure
4. Mulan

C) Four places you have lived :
1) Meadville, PA
2) Edinboro, PA (Tower A dorms)
3) Edinboro, PA (apartments)
4) Seagertown for three years

D) Four TV shows you love to watch :
1. 4400
2. Family Guy
3. House
4. Avatar: The Last Air Bender

E) Four places you have been on Vacation :
1) Canada
2) Ohio
3) Florida, when I was little
4) Ca

F) Website you visit Daily :
1) myspace.com
2) livejournal.com
3) yahoo.com
4) ebay.com

G)Four of my favorite meals :
1) Italian Chicken
2) Chicken Parmesan
3) Pizza
4) Cheese sticks

H) Four places I would rather be right now :
1) Home
2) Europe (Ireland, Spain, Italy)
3) Pluto (it has to be cool there)
4) In a fanesty world with fairy's, unicorns, elves (with long blond hair), oh and a flying pony!!!

I tag.... I dun care, do it or not. I'm not gonna force you, not like tagging really does that anyway

Ya do a happy dance...oh ya a happy dance...dancing my butt off.....boogie boogie......yayayayaya...dance dance.

Now why am I doing a happy dance.....because I HAVE A COMPUTER...THAT'S RIGHT I HAVE A COMPUTER.....ME...YA ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a compaq and it's supper nice. It's in MY room...on MY desk...that I stole out of the trash....anyway i have a computer i have a computer oh ya oh ya.


I also got to go see cars on my friend's b-day yesterday. It was super cute. I definetly liked it. ok I'm going to go now....and surf the net on MY COMPUTER!!!!!


oh ya doing a happy dance have a computer...oh ya computer...nice littly compy comp....

Ok, so here's what's been going on.

First of all my junior years over, and I did good in all classes but bio-chem. I was informed that I can't take summer classes cause I can't get anymore fiancial aid. Therefore I can't have a bouble major. I decided to live in Edinboro with Katie and her boyfriend Daniel for the summer. I haven't decided if this is good or bad. Only cause I'm homesick. I'm now bribeing my roommate with ice cream to let me drive her car...of which when I firt got into I calmly said "don't worry katie I'm a good driver, I know you drive on the left side of the road and the break is the thing on the right." Then I asked her if red means go or stop and took off. I was a good driver but she did get out and thanked god and she's not religous!!!! But I think she is now for a reason.

I'm going to be working two jobs this summer to save money for school next year. One is at West in Erie and I don't know how that will be, and the other is at the cafe :( . I have a Cat in my appartment name Roxy and she's just as sane as me....so we get along. And I've just decided what present to get my friend Angela for her B-day...so I better be able to see her around then *hint hint, if I don't I will send my evil duck and wolf minions after her*


last event to discuss is.................




What type of Fae are you?
I'M A PIXIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok so here's what's happen,

My roommate moved out (E) the other one moved in with me (H). I'm going to stay at edinboro another year than trasnfer to findlay like I wanted. Since I'm staying another year I'm getting another major. So I'm now Psychology and Nuclear Medicine. I might have to retake bio-chem but with a different proffesor. I'm moving back to the dorm next year which sucks with a girl I barly no and don't think I'll like. Well get along but not like.

Oh ya I took the harry potter test and failed it cause I can't spell, oh ya and didn't know any of the questions after the first page. But this is who I am...nanananana

Ok so since i had some time today I decided to call CCAC and see if they dicided to accept me or not. Well I call Manzetii the head to the Nuclear Med branch, and of course he didn't answer so I left a message. Then I email him just in case he's one of those guys that don't check his messages. Then I thought hey I'll call the school and ask them about it. So I called and got the best news ever. THEY HAVE NO INFORMATION FOR ME!!!! They told me that they never recieved a application for me!!!! I even told they that I got a paper saying they recieved my application and they I still need to visit the school and send my transcripts. So what does the girl say..."well me must of replace it so you'll have to fill out another one online". That's great for her the bubble head, but not me. The get accepted it's a first come first serve kind of deal. Meaning all the posistion are probely filled. So now I won't be able to go to either school. I have no idea what to do....maybe I should see if I can fly out of the third story windows in copper hall!!!! NO I can't do that but it would solve all my problems. So now I might have no choice other then take a year off, HELL NO I WON'T COME BACK, or stay another year and figure out how to afford it. So my question is how much bad luck can one person have?

Ok so I'm finely on spring break, the time I've been waiting for. So of course you know what happens I get a ton of homework piled on me. I have a take home test for bio-chemistry (Just a warning if I don't pass this one I'm killing myself with a straw). I have 13 physic problems, which some take a hour to do. Oh ya and I have a book to read and a paper to write on that book.

On the up side, it's been great being home. I haven't been able to come home since I started school this semester. I didn't realize how homesick I was. It's been great being with the kids and perry and darlene. Playing with my cats and dog. I have to go back up on sunday, but I'll be home for easter. I don't want to leave yet. I'm not ready to go back to work, and classes. This year has been so stressful. My classes are hard, and not quite passing, I might have to stay an extra year with no place to stay, and no money to do it. And my roommates are tearing each other apart. Lots of fun, but at home there's nothing to worrie about except who will eat the last cookie.

Have you ever wonder.....

1.) if carebears would beat my little poney's in a battle.

2.) what the cast of full house looks like now...

Nicky http://www.imdb.com/gallery/hh/0876770/iid_937009.jpg

Alex http://www.imdb.com/gallery/hh/0876771/HH/0876771/iid_936927.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Tuomy-Wilhoit,%20Dylan

DJ http://www.imdb.com/gallery/hh/0121026/iid_887244.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Cameron%20Bure,%20Candace&seq=7

that's all there is isn't that sad....

3.) who sat there and thought up the first pet rock...and why did they not have a life?

That's all for now....there will be more......

So today I got my test back from chemistry. I got a 58%. I really don't know what I should do. I study so hard for this test. I thought I knew everything, and I did just not enough of it. None of my answers were detailed enough for her. It was better then I did on my first test. That was an 48% but 7 of those pts were from my group (she added the average of my three members group as a bonus). The problem with this class is that there are two different types of students in it. The medical students like me with two years of chemistry under the belt (because that's what were required to have) and the chem/bio students with four years of chemistry under their belt. So how is it fair for our class to be based on the four years? Well it is. Next year the school is seperating it into two different classes. But I won't be here next year, I can't afford to be here. Well after seeing my test grade my professor asked for me to come in and see her. Well that was a lot of fun. She was very nice when she told me I'm in above my head and should start to consider to drop out. She broke down her grading and told me that I can't get anything below a 76% on anything in the class as of now. If I do I fail and there goes my GPA. I know I should stay another year. That if I do it will be alot better in the long run. I'll have a yr to save up and go to Finaly like I want. Get better grades in the two classes I got D's in. The only and big downside is that I can't afford it. If I drop this class I can't graduate. I can't trasfere and I have to stay another year. I don't have the money, I'll lose all of my grants! So now I feel lost, confused, and more stressed then ever. It seems that with each passing year I find a class that I don't anything can be worst but somehow I do. I thought physic II was hard and it was with that professor. Now I'm doing good in it. I thought Organic was hard because of Rogers and now I'm begging to have her back. And now I beleive that bio is inpossable. I've decided that I have to regroup, study everyday (which is hard since I work 2 jobs=19hrs a week, other homework, which physics can take hours, oh ya my four other classes and there homework and test). I just don't know what to do......or where to go from here!

Ok so ya I got another job. I can officaly say that I have two jobs, but of course both are pathelic. My new job is that I will now be working at least 10 hours at the dinning hall. All I do is make sure the tables look clean and the desart and fuit are always full. So all in all it's boring. I can however understand that it would be hard if it was a lunch but I'm working the breakfast shift. Ya that means that I have to be up at 6am every morning. so much for not having to get up till 11 every day. OH well it's some more money, which trust me I need. Now I'll be working 19hrs a week with both jobs. I could work more but I have some really hard classes this semester so I'm going to wait and see how I do with what I got.

Ok so I discovered I have a talent for things going wrong. I decided that since I could use some extra money that I would stay at school an extra week (that was on my own time, my christmas break) to work a week with a new company. I worked a 5 days and got payed $6 an hour. I was expecting my check to be around $75 that's great I could use it..........but no!!!!!! The company I worked for thought hey lovelle didn't pay her occupational tax yet, so lets take it out of this check, and hey why were at it lest go head and take it out for the 06 year too. So the $52 was taken out of my check for last year, and the remaining $15 out for 06. That's fine lets get it over and done with, however there is one small isty bitty problem I ALREADY PAYED THE DAMN TAX FOR 2005!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I just found out about this and they told me to go down to their office and they would fix. Good cause it's there fault fist of all and I really need the money. I have to pay $25 to perry for one bill and $25 to my landlords, oh and $10 for the phone. Yet of course I have a talent now, so the company told me when I was there that they can't do anything about it. I have to go to the house of edinboro with copy's of the two pay stubs. So I did and of course they no longer fix this sort of problem their and gave me a number to call. So I walk back to town and call. They finely tell me it's no problem they can return my $52 back to me. However I have to mail them copy's of the pay stubs and the company addresses and names. They my money will be mailed back to me no later then the end of Febuary. Ya that's going to help my bills for the month of DECEMBER!!!!!!!!

I just realized that no one reads my journal on here, therefore I can write anything I want and no one would know. I could say that I decided to kill myself and no one would know. However to infore anyone who might read it I'm not planing to kill myself. However I did realize I few things this year.

#1
After the ball fell and my party was pretty much over I started to remember new years of the past. I remember in my younger years my mom and me would always go over to my oldest sister's house. The adults would party upstairs (in other words with alochol) and us kids would be in the basement (kids mean from 8-18). I remember Quinny and his weird dancing, and how Eric and Krissy were always the center of attention. Then I remember in 5th grade going over to Charlene's for new years. It was the first one I didn't spend with my mom. I rememeber us dancing the night away and at midnight Charlene's mom let us have a ship of wine. Then I remember in 2000 when I decided to stay at home and me and mom watched Flubber the night way.

#2
I remember everyone from the past. Or how things use to me. I remember mom, my sisters and brothers, my nieces and nephews. Then there were all the friends I had. The one's from seagertown (who were the closest I ever had until college). I remeber what they were like and how they are today (or the ones I know about). Then I thought about the friends I have this year, the new and old. How I've lost some and gain some. Things have change so much in this year.

#3
I realize that I'll have two choices for next year, and both have a huge impact on my life. The first is that I have decided that I want to go to Finel school. I found that in the long run I will be better, however due to some things my adviser didn't tell me I can't. If I want to go to Finely I will have to stay at least a semester extra and spend the rest of that year saving money. But I'll be more prepared for my hospital work, possibly have a chance at getting a job in hammot where I want to work, still be close to home, and have a place to life. The second choice is that I can just continue with the classes I have already selected (which are easier) then continue my education at CCAC. However I will be compeletly alone for a full year. I won't have any support, won't know anyone, won't have a place to live, and won't be prepared for the hospital. However I can afford it, and my grades might be ok for it. And I can graduate on time. I still don't know what I'm going to do and I'm running out of time. I have to have my decision by the 16th when I come back to school. Not that long to make a major life decision that coast alot as well.

So those are the things I realize. To sum it all up...I have a good life, I've had people who love me and people who still do, but I also have realized that I've made some serious mistakes that I now learned from, but it's to late. I just hope I don't make another mistakes with my senior year. Happy New Year to anyone who reads this and to those of you who don't!

So I had a very Merry Christmas, just like I hope you all did as well.


My family liked there presents, exspecialy Darlene since I made her chocolate pretzels. Then on christmas day the kids woke me up a 7am, when I went to bed at 3 and santa at 5. But we got alot of cool stuff. I got a shower radio, A 5 dics stereo, an mp3 player that holds 4hrs, some pjs, and a photo album. I love it all. However I had to "pay' for it. I did think my cooking breakfast, which I was told can't be cerial :( (oh god they figure me out). Then I had to do all the dishes after dinner, but it was worth it.

Want to hear something cool....to bad you are anyways. I found my old best friend from elementary school on facebook. We message each other and are planning to see each other sometime during break. I can't beleive I found her, I haven't talk to her since 7th grade. During 5-7 we were inseparable. That made me happy!

So I was sitting in my roommates room, just playing some game on the computer, when a song comes on. Now I'm sure that everyone has heard the song, but it was my first time and I have to admite that it's the sadest song I've ever heard. This song is Christmas Shoes by newsong. The link below takes you to freewings. This site has the lryics and the song playing. If you don't shed a tear during it or at least feel sad, then I believe your made of stone.

http://www.freedwings.com/christmasshoes.php

I was having a good day yesterday, and then I decided to check my grades. That was it I felt the world caving in around me. I got a D+ in chemistry. I was only 5 pts at the most away from a C, from passing the class and graduating on time. So I have to retake the class and possably stay another year! When I saw my grade i just started crying, my roommate try to make me feel better but I just shut myself in my room and moped.

Ok so it's sunday night and my final grades come out on tuesday...I think I'm seriously having a nervous breakdown about Chemistry. I've never been this afraid of failing a class in my whole life. But no other class is as important as this, beside physic's but that' will come next semester. I've been thinking about it, and decided I really don't know what I'll do if I fail. I really don't have a clue

On a happier note,
Me and my roommates exchanged gifts and they all loved them,
Heather got me cameras and two really nice photo albums
Katie got me a snowman mug with hot chocolate and another gift that hasn't arrived yet
Erin made me a mug with buttons glued on it, and a duck that giggles
However Heather's mom gave us the best gift, she wanted us to feel like women and remember each other and this year. So she have us all real pearl necklaces, not just one pearl but a whole string of them. There beautiful, and with them she gaves us a lovely poem. It was about how gems are never the exsat same and that there "adnormalites" are what make them special. It also stated that like pearls we are now women and what makes us different make use unique and special. It was the best gift I think I've ever gotten from someone who barely knows me.

Ok so final week is coming up...ya lost of fun there.

In all actuality I got of really easy this year with finals. I only have one life and death one. The rest a going to be real easy if I ever get off my butt and actually study. The best part is that life and death one, which determines if I get to continue or get held back, is on monday so I get it out of the way, and I get to study for it all weekend.

Now happier and cheerer news. It's almost christmas!!!! I asked santa for a nice five-disk Cd player that is on sale at wally world for only $35, and will cry if he doesn't deliver, since I could have bought it this week while they still had some! So hopefully I'll get it.

The best news of all is that I finely got my roommates to agree to open there presents I got them. They didn't want to since none of them got a present for me, which i don't care I just want to give them their's. I think they'll really like them a lot.

I feel like I'm trapped in a spiral going downward and I can't get out. I have just taken my chemistry test and know for a fact I failed it. I study so hard for this test, and I thought I knew the material pretty well. However, I couldn't be more wrong. So far I have most likely a D in the class. I need a C to continue on to my next and final chemistry class. If I don't pass this class I will have to take bio-chemistry in the summer which there's a slim chance of it being offered. And if it was offered I don't have the money to stay up here and I don't have a car to compute. So I'll will most likely have to stay an extra semester here. Which means I'll lose my grants for not being able to finish in four years like I'm suppost to. And CCAC probley won't except me till the next year. Which means I'll have to stay here for a whole nother year. I can't afford that. I'm struggling enough as is. I'm going to have to have two jobs next semester as well as my physic II class which involves a lot of time, and a chemistry (hopefully bio-chem). Next semester will be my hardest one yet.

Ok I had my pity fest, even though I still don't feel any better, but I'm not going to mop around forever. I have alot of other things I need to do today. I would just like to say that the world is so not fair and I know I should expect it to be but hell we always do. So I believe that I need to make it a fair place by killing the rich and giving to the poor. You know like me!

Ok so I'm totaly crazy now. My marbles flew out the fricken window! I have just finished my eight page paper...oh and good enough to use a tolet paper. I made up half of it cause I didn't understand my articles. But hey it's done. Oh course it will decide if I have a C or a D in the class but hey who cares! Not me not anymore. I think I need to drop out of school, marry a biker, get ton of tatoos, rob banks when I need money, and drag my children in a wagon tape to the bike!!!! yup that's the life for me now.

Oh ya I can't forget my two lovely test tomarow. Oh which I not prepared for. There right after each other, and the one is bigger then my final. that's right isn't that the most rediculous thing you've heard of. It is for me.